


The Price of Perfection

by Runie (Runic)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Intersex Loki, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 13:10:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2851976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runic/pseuds/Runie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor dreams of perfection, but things with Loki never stay peaceful for long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Price of Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from, but I haven’t felt inspired to write in awhile, so this is probably me shaking off the rust.

It was so easy to imagine within one’s head, but creating it in reality was on a completely different level. But this, right here and right now, this moment was complete perfection beyond anything Thor could have hoped.

Sunlight filled the garden, radiating over Loki’s sleeping face, his book closed against his stomach; his very large stomach. Within Loki grew Thor’s child, their future family. Despite the terrors that haunted their past, they still ended up together, they were still a family in the end, and that was what Thor had always wanted.

Thor smiled to himself as he slowly walked toward Loki, careful not to wake him. He gently ran his fingers through Loki’s hair, and bent down to kiss his cheek, unable to keep himself from touching his husband. Loki grumbled and shifted before settling back into slumber, the frown on his face causing Thor to laugh.

And then, perfection ended.

Darkness ate away at the golden halls of Asgard until it covered Thor. He struggled forward, reaching for Loki and his child, but the darkness came on too fast. Nothing was left. Thor’s brief moment of perfection had ended.

“Is this what you wanted from me?” a snarling voice asked, sharp footsteps sounding on a nonexistent floor. “To become your brood mare?”

Thor turned to see Loki, not the Loki who had come back to him and agreed to spend his life with Thor, but the angry and vengeful Loki who was still lost to him. “Loki…I-”

A growl ripped its way from Loki’s throat as he crowded into Thor’s space. “And when exactly do you think you would have impregnated me, Thor? When we were on that skiff with your mortal lover unconscious in the corner and you in your anger pinned me down?”

“You wanted me just as much as I wanted you that time!” Thor retorted. “Do not try to twist it.”

Loki scoffed and shook his head. “At least I was not the one who left my dead lover’s body unburied upon the sands of a foreign world.” Thor opened his mouth to once more protest, but Loki plowed on. “Because that’s exactly what happened, Thor. I died. I died to save you, and you left me. Well, isn’t it good to know how much my sacrifice was appreciated? And all this, Thor, this is not me twisting things. This is your mind’s own guilt.”

It crushed him. Thor felt like his entire mind had been shattered. “Loki, I just wanted you back.”

“You wanted me back without any of the consequences! You thought you could have everything back the way it was without acknowledging anything had changed!”

The shadows came back, eating away at Loki. Thor wanted to reach for him, wanted the time to explain, to make Loki understand.

But none of what he wanted mattered. Loki was only in his mind now, and Thor’s moment of perfection was beyond his grasp. And despite it all, Thor didn’t want to wake, because even if Loki was yelling at him in his dreams, at least Loki was there.

/

“Mother?”

Loki opened his eyes, a smile already on his lips as his son pulled at his sleeve. “You are up early.”

“You were talking with Father, weren’t you? I could hear the whispers, but I couldn’t make out the words.”

Loki stared at his son, his and Thor’s. His powers were growing faster than Loki had calculated for. It would not be long before Loki could turn him against Thor…which was what he wanted. He wanted to destroy Thor in the most painful way possible. Thor had to pay. It was what he deserved.

“Mother, I will destroy him for what he did to you, for what he did to us. And then you will name me.”

“Of course, my son,” Loki assured him, bending forward to place a kiss against his son’s forehead. “You have grown so much in such little time. We will make your Father pay, and I will have my vengeance. We will be safe.”

“Mother, I have a question. Does Father know I exist? Does he know what you told him in the dream is what truly happened?”

“I thought you said you couldn’t hear us.”

“Well,” his son shifted his feet, trying to look innocent, not that Loki believed it for a minute, “I heard about your past. That part was particularly loud.”

Loki sighed and shook his head. “No, your father believes me dead.”

“Then can we not tell him? Would it not crush him to learn the truth?”

“It would,” Loki admitted. It was perfect really, letting Thor wallow in his own grief and guilt until his own son killed him. It was everything Loki wanted.

And yet he hesitated.

“But not just yet,” Loki finally said.

“Mother, are you all right?” His son looked up at his with true concern. Loki was his entire world, all he’d known, and Loki was no longer sure he could send his son off into such danger. Thor did have a nasty habit of surprising him.

“I am fine, precious one. It will all be set right soon enough. There is no need to rush these things. And besides, we have other matters to see to today. Come along.”

Loki denied that he was hesitating instead of waiting. Destroying Thor had consumed him for years, and now, after seeing what Thor wanted from him, after seeing what peace and serenity had existed between them, still  possibly could exist, Loki wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready to let his son go.


End file.
